I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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