Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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