the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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