Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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