Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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