I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
