The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
