I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just pee around me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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