Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
