there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize