If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
50% drunk capacity currently
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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