i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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