Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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