Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she told me i tasted like america
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
