i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
