i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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