I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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