Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
