Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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