Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
