do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize