So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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