There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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