I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
