spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
