never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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