I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
