And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
