I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
a search helicopter?!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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