Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
