She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
