So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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