She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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