we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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