So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just found a bag of teeth...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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