the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
