Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
