i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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