Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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