Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I looked at my own cervix.
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Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize