its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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