Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
