Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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