After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
it was like eating out sand paper
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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