I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
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Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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