we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
