he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
