Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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