Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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