Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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