I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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