YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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