Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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