some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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