Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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