what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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