I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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