thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
