I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
