My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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