I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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