Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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