butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
