Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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