She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My balls are so social today.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
