Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
