i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
