You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
